What Up

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Oh, hi, I didn’t see you there. Now, I’m not one to hold a grudge, but somebody once told me that I couldn’t make a blog that gets views. If you’re that guy I met at the pub in London, take it in, buddy, cause I’m out here representing America.

I was at the shore last week and I happened to find a beached whale. So, steward as I am, I lifted that blubbery mass onto my back and carried it all the way to the hospital. Now, the first thing they did was drive it back to the ocean on a gigantic truck, but, I mean, I did something. And ladies, I know what you’re thinking. How did that young lad in the fresh blazer lift such a fat animal?

Now, believe it or not, I’m ripped. You’ve never seen anyone as muscular as me. And you want to know a secret? I’ve never seen the inside of a gym. This seven pack (yes, I’m so muscular I have another ab) is not from crunches. It’s from laughing. At the upside-down, inside-out world. Anyway, I’m here for you. Don’t hate, people, and don’t do sit-ups either. I’m here to help you get buff. All you have to do is read.