No, this is not the lyrics to the Barenaked Ladies song, sorry to disappoint. Great song, by the way. Great song. Anyway, this is what I’d do if I had a million bucks. The six zeroes. The double commas. Here’s what I’d do.
First, I’d buy some more socks, cause these ones have holes in them. Wool ones. Not the kind from the Gap. The real kind. After my feet are nice and cozy, I’d buy a really snazzy snowsuit. The North Face one that I saw online. It was exactly $999. And after it comes in the mail, I’d put it on, and turn off the heat in my house. Just to save some energy, ya know? But the snowsuit is important, cause it gets cold.
Then I’d get myself a ride. Not something too fancy, just a golf cart. But wait, I’m not done. I’d get a Porsche motor. And I’d get the Porsche motor installed in the golf cart. And I wouldn’t ever drive it. I’d just park it outside the run-down shed where I live. Maybe, when there’s a festival, I’d sit in the driver’s seat and rev ‘er up a couple times. Just to see how many ladies gather ’round to observe the hottie in his shiny whip.