Standup

There seems to be a direct correlation between comedy and alcohol. 90% of open mics in Downtown Philadelphia are in bars. Bars! With drinking people! Drinking people who will soon be, if they aren’t already, drunk! So how does a young comedian make it in the world of comedy?

He doesn’t. Partly because practically no comedians make it in the world of comedy, and the ones that do make it make ten dollars every fifteen years, which they spend on alcohol. at bars.

So why do comedians still tell jokes? Why hasn’t live comedy just ceased to exist? There’s a simple answer to this question. A comedian when they are just starting off is an optimist. A raging optimist. Then, over time, their egos start to disappear, at which point the only thing keeping them alive is comedy. It’s a pit of despair, but the good news is that the jokes cancel out about 2% of the depression.

Where can one find a genuine comedian? It’s easy. All you have to do is go to a bar. Or a cliff somewhere. If you don’t get that one, just…please don’t try to figure it out. It’s dark. Really dark.

The thing to remember is that not all standup comedians are bad. In fact, a lot of comedians are hilarious. But they’re all broke. No matter how good they are. So, if you see a comedian on the street, just…give him a quarter. Please.

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