I was down at the store, to buy some shampoo,
After having eaten a dinner or two,
When I suddenly realized that something was wrong,
Thus began my adventure, exciting, and long.
I realized then that I had something to do,
And it was pretty bad, between me and you.
I had fallen into fate’s cruel, hungry trap,
It was late in the night, and I had to…crap.
So I said to my father, and my mother too,
And I yelled to the clerk, “Good evening to you!”
I left that damned store with my stolen shampoo,
Ran halfway to hell just to go to the loo.
I crossed street after street, with tiring feet,
I knew I shouldn’t have eaten all that meat!
I ran red lights and yellows, with sweat on my face,
Faster than Bolt when he’s running a race.
I got texts from my parents, saying “Go to McDonalds!”
But I passed it already…What rhymes with McDonalds?
Nonetheless, I continued towards my destination,
And to be sure, I wasn’t suffering from constipation.
Finally! The front door, but where are my keys?
I searched for the spare on my bare hands and knees,
I found it, and rushed for the toilet at last,
But I had time to spare, thank God I’m so fast.
So I hopped in the shower, and washed off the sweat,
Then I sat on the can, but I wasn’t done yet!
I wrote a poem, seven verses in all,
And that’s how I killed all my cholesterol.